The Daily Drivel News

I’m glad you’ve decided to take time out from your busy schedule to spend a few minutes with me.  Today’s topic is anger management. Anger is a dangerous emotion and if not controlled can lead to harm, for others as well as yourself. Managing your emotions, especially anger, is crucial.

We have all been angry at one time or other in our lives. Some of us have even been angry today, as I was this morning when I realized that MY LOVELY WIFE HAD STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT!  This did not make me happy as you can well imagine. I did my best to control myself, and you will be proud of the way I behaved, not jumping to conclusions and keeping my temper in check. That is how a rational human acts.

 It is not easy to turn off anger once it has reared its ugly head, but if you remain calm and take a few  deep healthy breaths before you begin speaking it will only be beneficial. That is exactly what I did this morning, which is not easy WHEN THE WOMAN I PLEDGED MY LIFE TO REPEATEDLY LIES AND MAKES A DAMN FOOL OUT OF ME!

Anyway, we were discussing anger and how harmful it can be, were we not. Let’s get back to that if I can steal a few more moments of your precious time. Anger leads to rage. Rage leads to violence. Violence leads to pain. It is not a healthy way to deal with your problems. Calm, rational thinking will relax you so that you can clearly express your concerns and disappointments with the other involved person or persons. Animals without the power of speech and the ability to reason are the ones that confront their anger physically. We, as humans, are better than that. We are more capable of handling our emotions, like anger, in a manner befitting our great intellect, unless, of course, YOUR WIFE OF 10 YEARS COMES HOME AT 6 AM  WEARING HER BLOUSE BACKWARDS AND WREAKS OF CIGARS AND OTHER MEN’S COLOGNE!

It’s getting rather warm in here is it not? I’m just going to open the window a bit. That’s better, now, where were we? Oh yes, anger management. Anger can make you do and say things that you might not necessarily have done or said if you were in a rational frame of mind. Confront your emotions, not the person that you love, that is how to deal with anger and jealousy. WHICH IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO HANGS AROUND THE BAR AT THE  HOLIDAY INN BY THE AIRPORT AND HAS CARELESS SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH NUMEROUS OUT OF TOWN BUSINESSMEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHILE YOU SIT HOME  LIKE AN IDIOT WAITING FOR HER TO COME HOME!

So, in conclusion, controlling your anger will lead to a healthier you and a happier life. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I think my ulcer is bleeding. Could you please send a doctor over to my office asap, I’ll be the one passed out on the floor.