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12 Jul


Greece- The collapse of the Greek economy has many European countries on edge. Greece has defaulted on several billion dollars of loans, and the holders of those unpaid loans are scrambling to figure out a solution to this huge economic problem. Some economists are speculating that the due dates of the loans will be extended for 30 years in an effort to stabilize the economy.

Greece has been in economic trouble many times over the years, but the last decade has seen their debt spiral drastically out of control. The country went on a debt binge that came crashing to an end in 2009, provoking an economic crisis. Since the end of 2009 Greece has relied on bailout money from other European nations such as France and

Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou describes the size of the gyro platter that will be used to repay their debt

 Germany, and has implemented measures meant to cut its bloated deficit and restore investor confidence. These measures have failed miserably and now Greece finds itself deep in a recession.
Out of money and running out of time, Greece has devised a plan to chip away at the debt- offering one free gyro platter deluxe (with 1 small coke) to each person owed money. The order comes with lettuce, tomato, a handful of golden brown fries and a dollop of yogurt sauce (an optional pickle spear and small plastic cup of coleslaw will be available upon request).

“France will be first, followed by Germany and so on until we can finally get from under this debt,” said Greek prime minister George Papandreou, “we are considering letting them order an entree, a choice of soup or salad, a small fountain soda, and a choice of dessert, but only as a last resort. We want to try the gyro platter first and see how that goes. If that doesn’t work, then, quite frankly, I’m out of ideas. We are broke. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m joining the rest of our country’s work force in a two hour mid-day break.”

Greece doesn’t have a backup plan, and is counting on the gyro platter to help get them back on their feet. It’s a risky plan, considering most people are scared to eat the meat contained in a gyro, unsure of exactly what it is. Most economists insist this is a foolhardy plan, but are encouraged by the complimentary pickle and coleslaw.

Italy, whose fragile economy is poised to collapse next, is watching the developments in Greece very closely.

“We are firing up the brick ovens in anticipation. Who would dare turn down a pepperoni pizza with six garlic knots and a 2 liter of coke? That beats the mystery meat of the gyro any day of the week,” said Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi.

DD (Laszlo Ferrar reporting)